Adjustment

“You are a beautiful daisy. You have many tiny seeds. They are the future. Your children are your 1st mission field. You are a world changer and a diaper changer . . .”
~A Mothering Friend

I have been marveling that my fingernails are a millimeter long. I don’t think they’ve been that long since I was four. Too busy to bite or pick. Hallelujah.

Today was AMAZINGLY beautiful outside. In general, it has been a wonderful world outdoors. My irises are blooming. It never ceases to amaze me that plants spring up from the ground out of no life and become bright shades of colors. Abet, mostly green. I just love color.

Josiah is a week old today. He did not like his first sponge bath. He is a handsome sleepy little man. But when he is awake he is takes the world in with alertness and softness. I like him a lot. He eats 2-3 hours around the clock, though at night sometimes he will do 3.5 hours. I long for the day when he will sleep through the night.

Avi is handling the new little brother well. She calls him “I-ah” and always tells him “hi” with great amounts of exuberance. She also likes to kiss him (i.e., try to crawl up on, or tackle without grace while extending pouting lips). Yet, she has also been very whinny and more tandtrumish. There is an aspect of jealousy for her mommy and daddy. Actually, she is probably getting more attention in general, though, with both of us at home, and daddy having to take care of her more when I am with “I-ah.”

I am healing great, though I have been having alot of neck and back pain and its also difficult to walk or climb stairs. My milk is starting to settle into normalcy, and in general, my body is adjusting much better with this second baby. Josh has been having to stay home, in large part, mainly to help me carry Avi as I can’t carry her or Josiah in his carrier. Hopefully my body will continue healing well this week, and I’ll start to know how to handle two kids plus the household well enough so that He can go back to working at work.

Emotionally, I haven’t been as “well.” I was crying every five minutes by day three. Thankfully, the minutes between tears has been growing exponentially, and I do believe I haven’t even cried one time today. So far. Thankfully Josh seems to have decided its one of his main goals to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I think I am starting to. We WILL adjust, and we WILL survive, even thrive with two kids! In a few months I’ll surely be so ecstatic about how well we are doing that I’ll want to become pregnant again, asap! Okay, maybe that last one is more like the light of a train coming to smash me at the end of the tunnel than just the glow of the happy sun. But generally, I think my eyes are starting to focus more on the joy of this life-change as opposed to sleep deprivation and how overwhelming everything feels. Anyways, surely I’ll forget that “we WILL adjust” in a couple minutes and start crying again, but hey, its a process.

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