Often I find myself trying to distinguish why I felt so fully alive at different times of my life. For example, I realize that though I often felt alive in YWAM, it wasn’t necessarily “YWAM” that made me feel that way. There were various aspects of the scenario which made me alive.
Today I was reading one of the last chapters in the book “I Became a Christian and All I Got was a Lousy T-Shirt.” This chapter is kinda some dude’s understanding of how being a Jesus-following-secret-agent man makes you alive (versus sitting on the couch all time time being a lazy bum makes you pretty bored or busy). Sort of.
Anyways, I know pretty often I am a bored Christian, or unsatisfied at least. It seems to hard to touch sick people where I live even though we are all pretty sick. Yet today, I had an idea. Whether it was a God directed idea or not, I am not sure. But I did it anyway. I felt devious, excited, counter-cultural as well as even semi-radical with my very unradical attempt at loving someone and living on a mission.
All to say, I wrote a thank you card to a postal worker. It was somewhat awkward. After all, I’ve never actually written a thank-you card to the UPS before. In fact, for a distinct period of time I was pretty sure that the United States Postal Service was actually an underground anti-government group, fully of anarchy and deceptive plans to establish a secure stronghold in each location to quickly convert into a mad rebellion and overthrow the US in a coup. Now I don’t believe that. I am pretty sure Northrop Grumman is an anarchy instead.
At the end of the card I was running out of space, as is usually the case when , I, Elisa, write a card. I was trying to debate if I should write a Bible verse or tell them Jesus loves them or something Christian-classic like that. I was pretty sure I shouldn’t write “God Bless you” because the chapter I read, in essence, said not to do that. I finally decided on saying something like I hoped they would find a life that was fully alive (mostly because I ran out of space to go deeper than that).
The nervous sweat from my hands caused my washable kids marker to bleed, leaving blue finger prints on the card. I was rather disturbed by that, as I was leaving the card anonymously and didn’t want to be caught. They probably have my fingerprints on file somewhere and can match them. After all, I have had numerous background checks in which maybe they stole my fingerprints. I don’t rightly remember. To solve the problem I smudged the marks with my spit. Which, after, I decided that might not have been a good idea just in case they can somehow DNA test the card and, again, find me. I am pretty sure it was a good idea to not stick the card in an envelope as they might never open it in fear of the anthrax virus powder which I wouldn’t bother to add to the envelope.
With those precautions made, I am pretty sure that maybe someone will read it. Maybe not the letter-collector. But maybe the mail-sorting guy. I hope it makes someone’s day. And I really hope that maybe it won’t make them think humanity is slightly nicer than they thought, but somehow God will work to help them connect the “fully alive” part with Him.
Whether that was an impactful thing or not, it helped me (at least) feel alive. I decided that one of the aspects in my past of when I felt so alive was that I used to scheme and plan to love others. I think that is a characteristic I need to add more of to my life. After all, It blesses God, others, and myself.