Rude by Default
Current mood: Fatigued
Category: Fatigued Life
You don’t have to try to be rude to be rude. Rude is default. I mean, who sits there and says “I am going to cut in front of that person to piss them off.”? Of course, I know you all do that in your free time, but…
I have started realizing how naturally rude we are as I am near to the end of my pregnancy. Not too long ago I was taking the subway home from D.C. I got on at 3pm, when rush hour starts, though is far from the masses going home. The train was packed. A young mother was in front of me, with a young girl and baby. Heck, she could have been a nanny, it didn’t matter. Whoever she was, I am sure she was exhausted, and needed a seat (for her’s and everyone else’s’ sanity). No one offered her one, though. Here she was, in the middle in between the two doors, trying to keep the young girl from falling, keep the stroller from rolling, the baby from crying too loud while trying to balance herself. I was pretty exhausted myself, and would have really appreciated a seat. I had been standing a long time, and was quickly wilting, though trying to be strong just a little while longer. An older woman next to me was appalled that no one offered me a seat, being the obviously tired very pregnant woman that I was at the moment. She went off about how rude people were, probably within hearing of some individuals who did have seats, and then assured me that if she had a seat she would have readily offered it to me (as any decent person should). I appreciated her thoughts, though I really was okay. Still, looking around myself, I did start to wonder why no one would give their seat to the young mother or me. There were some young women who were completely chill in their seats nearby. There were business men. There were tourists. Maybe they were all extremely nauseas, and about to puke. Maybe they were all entirely unaware, though that seems very unlikely. Maybe they were all drugged with depressants. Or maybe they were just normal people, wanting to be comfortable. It’s pretty easy for me to assume that the later is probably the truth, at least with the majority. They were comfortable, maybe somewhat tired themselves. They probably were thinking they had the right to sit down after a hard day at work. Or they probably didn’t think it was that big of a deal, and justified their actions. And you know what? Their lack of action really wasn’t that big of a deal. But in it, they proved to act rude.
Later that day I had to stop by a few stores, after I cancelled seeing a friend because I was too tired to do much more that day. A car cut in front of me to park in the spot I was going into. Hence, I had to park far away. I think they were in a hurry. I got out of the car, waddled to the store in hot sun and it was closed early. While waddling back to my car I was wondering if that person would have parked there if he knew how much more effort it was for me than for him. I really don’t know if he would change his actions. I think a few other similar things like this happened throughout my day. By the end of it, I was pretty bitter, feeling the world was a very unjust place. I’ve been noticing this a lot in the last two months as it becomes harder for me to do simple things because of the bulging basketball that is my belly. I know it might sound extreme, but I feel like I know a little more of what it is like to be treated unjustly. The poor, the hungry, the sick, the weak, the prisoner, the taken advantage of, the foreigner, the needy: these are the people who really catch the attention of Jesus. Those who live under injustice. Apparently, the beginnings of injustice really do not require much.
In little things, I’m starting to see I am unjust. It really gets me knowing I have probably done these things a thousand times to others. How many times have I taken the close parking spot when the sick, elderly, pregnant woman, or exasperated mother really could use have used it? How often have I chosen to be comfortable or lazy, and in that was rude? How many times have I been so self-focused that I didn’t even notice the other’s needs around me? How often have I thought that it wasn’t that big of a deal, or wasn’t worth the effort to do something kind? How many times, how many times…..
Being rude or unkind is not something you chose to do. It’s natural. A slight bit of selfishness on our parts, often unnoticed, is what slights others. I think that really hit me, how my non-actions can influence others, and how they really are a testimony of character, and whose character I represent.
| Currently reading :
The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
By Malcolm Gladwell
Release date: 07 January, 2002